The blackboard was revisited last night.
The chalk inscriptions, the equations and sentences and formulas of various sorts, were faded after a few years of speculation. The numbers and words sat there, untouched and not refurbished, for anyone to walk by and take a look at. The author’s words, thoughts, proposed and figured solutions cracked by the day to the point–now–where the chalk lines look like the weathered, cold, cracked fingers of an elderly blue-collared worker.
Feeling went onto this board. Mistakes were made and erased. Scuff marks cloud the green palate.
Configurations, reworked arguments and decisions, have been revised with carets and footnotes. Margins, if they should exist, have been utilized to their full potential.
White ripples frost a green sea.
There is no abyss, but a plane, which is endless; it all depends on why and how you utilize it. It’s all in front of you no matter its size. Standing close to the board, the smell of friction ash fills your nose. You’ll sneeze either immediately or a minute in due time. The sneeze will leave you breathless, exhausted, but feeling great; its similar to the post-sex feeling.
You just want to lie down and rest.
So, do it.
The board isn’t going anywhere; it’s fastened on the wall, in the back of your mind. It follows you whether you appreciate it or not, but the weight from the size or the scribblings do not bear a burden. It’s all relative to a just-in-case scenario. It holds the guilt of mistakes–the ashen haze of erasing. It holds the current state or progress. It holds various possibilities. You can’t shake it.
It’s not an Etch A Sketch.
You have to go out of your way to get rid of what is on the board, some of it or all of it. My board took a little over three hours to erase. It wasn’t the entire board–why be that ridiculous?
Why get rid of all the good feelings?
Why get rid of the mistakes and pain felt from lessons learned?
Why get rid of those lessons learned?
Why get rid of friendship and new acquaintances?
Why get rid of your wanting to acknowledge those around you, all that they do, minor or major?
Why get rid of aspirations and possibilities?
Why get rid of acquired knowledge and personal development?
Why deal with regret of starting off to a bare board?
Why get rid of feeling so great/confident at this moment in time?
Why get rid of the positivity?
The part erased was simply a section, a very small section, but it took three hours to erase. I didn’t like it, but I felt some relief after the task was completed. The pictures, the words, the phrases, the numbers: erased.
There is a difference between reflection and dwelling on the past. When reflecting, fond memories come into play; they may be good or bad, they are positive bolts to make you smile. If you dwell, you are regretting; regret is a negative connotation. We shouldn’t regret, but embrace what has been dealt. Life will turn out positive if you stay true.
I am not going to state too much, because I don’t want to preach.
It’s like a comic–I have at least one in mind–cracking a joke and then stating that the joke isn’t racist or offensive or whatever, continuing with a speech about how we need to learn to accept one another and joke around without being asses about it. I’m not going to be a racist, nor do I ever want to offend anyone.
I enjoy every aspect of the human race… even if we destroy our planet.
It’s all about love and being loved.
Plus, having your healh has a good thing. If you don’t, keep fighting; we’re all here to back you up.
We will support you. I may not be speaking on behalf of the whole human race, your friends and/or strangers, but I am speaking on behalf of those who will catch you.
We will catch you.
A little weight gone equals a better night’s rest.
improvement love personal development relationships romanticism stream of consciousness