A Bunch of Nonsense

Hello. May the Fourth be with you. 

This post has been inspired by a couple blogs, but I’ll get to those as the words go on.

A big thank you goes out to Mike I., who I perform improv with. Due to his help, giving me a head’s up, I’m in the middle of excitement of passing Cracked.com’s preliminary writing test — the humor site’s representative sent me an email a couple days ago (why love checking email…), asking me when I’m available for training. Of course, tomorrow’s date (Cinco de Mayo) was given in the middle of several thank you‘s. Finally, a break is caught in this unemployment dilemma. This happy news flat-tired my writing the SNT post for Tuesday, but continuation

Now, to get back on track to write, this would be a great time to write a nonsense post full of vulgarity. I’m not going to curse or say anything off-color, but…

The inspiration to write about search terms, what people are looking for before coming across my blog comes from Cursitivity, and we talked about my writing about them a couple times now. Finally, it’s time to live up to promises. (This wasn’t do-or-die terms, but the humor surrounding this is rather great and cannot be ignored.)

Let’s take a look at the last 30 days.

chris malone syracuse – this can mean several things, not limited to: stalker, admirer, hit man, mercenary, serial killer

anal challenge – The concept of that one post in particular came from something my fellow improviser, Alexis, said in our fourth improv class. It’s an open inside joke, but why the hell are people searching this two-word phrase?

yellow umbrella himym – Needs no explanation or concern.

head hitting pillow – Am I that boring? Am I that comfortable?

things you do in syracuse  – Yes, it pertains to that viral post, but would I make the list? No, I don’t sleep around.

dom um house to let haiko op dumb ways to die wat moet je daar bij doen – Sure. OK.

pitball timber fucking annoying – Enough said. Needs no explanation.

natural improv traits

sarah chalke 2014 – Oh, I can only hope. (Crosses fingers.)

abyss of pleasure (1990)  – Sure, my curiosity lead me to Google it. It’s a porn film. It does not sound fun to me.

song dollar bills, lady holding a tea cup, 3 girls sitting on a beach, ladybug – Now this is one hell of a search term. Let’s throw random things together and see what happens.

tell me reason for chosing any play house – It’s choosing. I don’t know why.

why do my pancakes look like plastic – I don’t like to waste food, but throw them away immediately.

the infinite wait poems

grizzly adams poem

challenge of anal – Creativity

don’t do stuff for people to speculate

mid life hiccup

how you doin

wife fucked in pub stories – Am I really writing for these people?

hiccup in the bathroom

why is cba syracuse so expensive – It’s a private school. Enough said.

guys hiccuping holding his penis – Really? That actually sounds funny. The last was actually the best. Poor bastards.

 

 ***

This section is dedicated to CBXB. Since the Weekend Winks name is already designated to her blog, since I’m definitely not as cool or photogenic or exciting or spontaneous as her… I’ll do my best.

This weekend was filled with family and friend fun. As opposed to the list above, there weren’t any hiccups. I ran into a few old friends. Volunteered handing out water at the Mountain Goat Run (a notorious 10-mile and hill-filled race in Syracuse). We each were given a yellow shirt has GOAT HERDER written across the back of it in black letters.

This is how the rest of my weekend panned out:

garf

 

I made a new friend. Not only am I a sucker for gingers, the preference is the same for felines. At least the felines like me better than their female human counterparts. All the ginger cats who like me are males. Above is Garfield. Below this is a better picture of Garfield’s adorable face. He’s a pretty boy, but he has to contend with Oliver. At least my friends, Dan and Christina, are comforted with the fact they know Central New York’s #1 cat sitter.

garf2

 

The Twins came over to Dan and Christina’s new pad on Saturday night as well. We spent our time taking random pictures, well Dan did, of the three of us being weird, making the best of just sitting around.

sad

Think of Kubrick’s point of focus mixed with those old pictures of haunting that you find in books, when you’re looking for something off in the photo.

I got rid of the color in the pics. Sorry, Dan.

three

Today, after the volunteer duties were complete. My brother and I stumbled upon a discarded sign on the side of the street.

ninja

This picture depicts my actual height. I can fit into your pocket.

***

Oh, and for all of you in the Syracuse and Central New York area on Friday evening… come see some improv.

Robot2

22 thoughts on “A Bunch of Nonsense

  1. Hey now, it seems as if you are photogenic AND spontaneous. What about Garfield? He’s such an adorable gingy! I almost cried tears of sheer delight reading through the search terms – WOW!

  2. Congratulations on the cracked.com news, Chris! I am psyched for you. I want you to make sure on the testing to try to slip in the terms “anal challenge” and “open inside joke” like you did above. I believe that will help land you the job.

    • Thank you, sir! I’m not going to put any of those terms in the test, or any resume whatsoever. We shall see where this takes me. Hopefully some place good.

      Speaking of going to someplace good, I’m about to venture over to your blog.

  3. Hahaha! I am so glad to see you do this!!

    Congratulations on Cracked! That is a seriously funny site. I can get sucked into it for hours. I can’t wait to see you on there.

    I must have missed all the anal posts you did. But really, this blog is an abyss of pleasure for all that read it. But not in the vintage porn way (it sounds pretty tame by today’s porn standards).

    • I had to swallow hard and just click the publish button. It was difficult.

      Yeah, I was with Blogger (Google) before switching to WordPress last year in April. Many people may not have checked up on life prior to WP, which isn’t as glamorous than the less-than-glamour written now.

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