It’s funny getting blatantly hit on. This post is a segue from a few posts ago. It’s only funny, because I’ve been so oblivious to it ever happening before. When your interest lies with someone else, the universe will send out the test here and there to make sure you’re on your A-Game. I’m not talking about expertise pimpin’ abilities, which is the complete opposite of this post, but this the A-game in regard to being honest and truthful with yourself and others around you. However, one’s A-Game can be misconstrued.
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This music is going to drive you nuts in exactly one minute … OK, maybe 30 seconds.
For all you gamers out there, and players are included, do you remember this Donkey Kong Classics compilation for the original Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)? The 1988 package included Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr., giving the player the opportunity to drop whatever primate (Mario or DK) from the top of a steel building frame (at what seems to be at a construction site … supposedly). DKJ gets his revenge or Mario rescues and falls in love with his dame, Pauline, who is captured by the irate ape, which is taking after his great grandfather, King Kong.
That’s right, folks. This woman in distress is not the elusive and trouble making Princess Peach. When Mario found out that Pauline was not a redhead, but a brunette, he lost interest. Pauline was deemed “too Italian” for his liking, and she reminded him too much of his mother. So, Mario, in a state of despair and feeling duped, decided to let DK and Junior go, and ran away to a commune. This is where he met Princess Peach, decided he enjoyed buxom blondes, and began taking peyote. From then on, the trouble with Bowser is simply history.
Don’t believe me? Look at Super Mario Brothers 2. That was a dream? Psssh.
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To get back on topic …
The opening screen of Donkey Kong Classics gives you the option to go with the original game or opt for the game with Junior. The next options are as follows:
It’s a metaphor for relationships.
- 1 Player Game A: You’re single, and you don’t mind it.
- 1 Player Game B: You’re single, and you’re playing the field.
- 2 Player Game A: You’re in a relationship, and you love it.
- 2 Player Game B: You’re in a relationship, and you don’t give a shit about commitment.
Aside Game A being less difficult that Game B, the essence is the irony of life being opposite, not being as easy as we hope it would be at times.
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What do I mean?
Guys …
When you were in college or in your prime, you’re supposed A-Game could have been to nab as many women as you could. When you go out to the bars, you’d make sure you’d have your A-Game to pick up said women and obtain said numbers, and this would be clouded by that awful and overabundant inexpensive body spray or cologne that the commercials tell you is so awesome. Yeah, gentlemen — gentlemen, ha! — you’d take a different girl home night-after-night, but that very well could be the result of alcohol consumption on both of your parts. So you’re supposed A-Game is basically a B-game, “B” as in “Bastard,” since you’re out for yourself, numbers instead of keepers, and getting off on the overall excitement of being able to do so when not being tied down.
Moving forward. Next thing you know, you’re bored in the relationship you are in. You start hitting on other women before you break up. Why? You’re only putting yourself in a worse position. Just cut the cord. Is that so difficult? But cutting that relationship too quickly is flight rather than fight, striving to keep something that was once good going longer and stronger. This can only showcase your lack of confidence and highlighting that delusion that you can have any woman that you want. You’re 10 months deep with some lovely lady, but you slip tha cocktail waitress your number one night. No. Your “still having it” — this announcement is followed by personal cartoon laughter and high-fives — cannot equal or parallel the abstaining from that temptation.
When it comes down to it, settling and raising a family is the greatest desire and part of a grand success. Sure you could make a shit-ton of money and having your way with different women every week — to each their own, whatever makes you happy — but what have you got when all your closest friends are enjoying their time being settled with one woman and raising a few kids?
Cheating is not an option in the concept of monogamy.
The settling part is for me. Frankly, yeah, it’s going to be difficult, but that’s how we get the most enjoyment out of life. We work at something for such a long time before the metaphorical fever breaks and success is achieved. We feel awesome with such accomplishments.
The last time I knew, an A-Game referred to performing to the best to one’s ability, sticking to your guns, rising above negative and difficult situations. The A-Game is not only looking out for the best for yourself, but for your family and friends. It’s about taking the difficult route, and giving it your all while falling down a few times. With all the crazy violence that seems to be happening more often than not, your eyes and ears have to be open in case shit goes down. You have to be honest with yourself and others for an A-Game to shine. You have to cry and you have to bleed a little bit. You have to fight to the very end.
Life is not a game, but you do have choices to make.
Christopher S. Malone 
Cheating certainly does require one to be a pretty awful person. However, if your relationship was already heading towards the gutter (i.e. you were planning on breaking things off relatively soon), and you slipped a waitress your number, is that cheating?
Hey, man. Sorry for the delay in responding. I’ve been in this weird funk the past month. Who knows what the hell is going on.
If the relationship is in the gutter, giving a number out is not cheating. Don’t go full-blown and get fully blown, because that would put you in some trouble. You never know if you’re just in a funk and this whole thing will blow over the next day. Life is strange like that.
I was casually dating someone a couple months ago, and we were growing apart; making it a month was a bit of a stretch. I did meet someone else. We were talking, but that’s all it was, despite the non-committal between the first girl.
I’m just a believer in karma.
I am so direct with people, I cant even imagine the deception required to cheat. There’s no need to cheat. If I want you, I say so. If I no longer want you, I say so. End of story. Sometimes people don’t like my directness, or they confuse it for rudeness (which I am not). But those people are clearly not right for me anyway.
I never thought of “bringing your A-game” in a negative connotation until you mentioned it. To me, presenting your A-Game is performing any and all tasks to the best of your ability.
That said, I know at least 3 handfuls of guys (many of which I’ve dated) who treated sleeping with a multitude of women as “the game.”
So yes, I agree with this. I like where it’s coming from. I like the concept… BUT to me it is not about bringing your “a-” or “b-” or “z-” game; It’s about the game. If conquering members of the opposite sex is the game, and you bring your “a-” version to that game, you’re performing in that game to the best of your abilities. Even if it makes you a complete douche.
I’m not sure any of this made sense.
I was a Original Mario girl… SM3 was legit, but I always just got the secret whistles and tornado’d off to Big Land because it was my favorite.
You make perfect sense, and I definitely see where you are coming from. The comment is greatly appreciated.
I’ve highly enjoyed SM2, even though the game is a side story, straying from the original concept. It’s a dream, and I think the writers/designers purposely constructed it this way to cover their butts. It’s definitely not as good as the others, but you get to pick up and throw objects. Timing didn’t matter in the grand scheme of the game, but timing in the strategy sense was utilized well.
I could go for some original Mario action right now.
I didn’t realize there was an old school Donkey Kong. Woah.
Also: I like your thoughts on the A-Game, B-Game. I know it sounds naive to say I don’t “get” infidelity but I truly have a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea of breaking that commitment to someone. I can’t even watch a TV show if it largely features that sort of storyline… it starts to turn my stomach.
It really does, because the person obviously knows that they are creating turmoil in three lives: two others and the cheater’s own life. But that’s when common sense comes into play.
Some of my goofier qualities are easily embraced and often so, because I’m happy to say that I don’t have that capability to cheat. It does make stomach turns.
I have no game when it comes to video gaming. Born too early and don’t care about it, Mr. Malone! I was there for Pong!! I was there for Super Mario Bros. and Space Invaders in an arcade!!! I tried to eat little Pacmen and then little Ms. Pacmen but when everybody else was learning patterns and reaching more levels I was hearing the failure music and fishing out another quarter. Then that was that.
But having game … A Game … Game of Life …
You are so much going to love when you reach the stage you are writing around at the end of this piece, my friend. You say settle. As in settle down, yes, indeed. But that’s not settling in that other sense, no way, no how.
You have the makings. Be good to yourself, great to your friends and loved ones and respectful to your world. Now that’s an A Game!
Thanks, Mark. It’s truly comforting and reassuring to hear this from a seasoned and great writer, one who has settled down yet continues to seek out adventure and great things about Central New York.
I’ll be good, sir. Be sure to call me out if you so should. Haha. Sometimes I stray and need it.
I will accept the assignment as Malone monitor.
I’m eye to eye with you on the Super Mario references, Christopher. SM 3 is my favorite video game ever, which isn’t saying much, as I play very little, but I love that game!! My sister, Leah, and I have all nighters with this game about once a year. Its on the agenda for this trip. We spend the night complimenting each other on our continued knowledge. Haha!!!
Seems to me you have your dating game under control. 🙂
Thanks, Audrey.
You and your sister purposely have all nighters? That’s a cool sibling bonding ritual if you ask me.
As for my SM3, I have no idea where it is. I can pick it up somewhere, however. There is a great video game store in Syracuse, and it’s certain that they carry it.
Well, yes, once a year when we’re together for a long amount of time (which is currently) we choose to stay up and laugh, snack and play SM3. We found it for the Wii…haha. I cannot believe I admitted this out loud. It is truly the best game ever, in my opinion. Why you might wonder, well, it is superior to the original SM because it is far more gracious. You see, SM3 does not make you wait an hour between plays, which is what we have to do when you’re as good at being Luigi as I am or Mario, as she is. Wasn’t that the worst?? The wait for the other player to die so we could have a turn?… SM3 knows how to play fairly…now I’m blushing because I’m so embarrassed. Ha!
Oh, don’t be embarrassed. If people don’t like your honesty or enjoy your fun, well, those are not the people you want to associate with.
SM3 was such a chore when it came to taking turns. My brother liked playing Luigi, because of his affiliation with the color green. I liked Luigi, because he was tall, but playing Mario was always fun. That’s why he was the first player.
Now, I want to go hook up my Nintendo. Woo hoo!
Yes, Dear.
I like Luigi for both of those reasons. His tallness (I’m 5’10 gotta help the tall ones out.), the green color, but also because he was always considered second best. I always go for the one that seems to blend in, because I already sense that they are far superior.
Go play!!!
Any metaphor that includes a NES reference works for me, but especially this one 🙂
I’m glad I have your approval 🙂 There was some second guessing with this, but I finally agreed to the comparison. It kind of makes sense.