My Brilliant Mistake

The above picture of the jackass. Yes, that’s me. We’ll get to that in a brief moment. For now:

The participating of online dating is slowly coming to a close. Part of the reason is that I’m not actively participating again. Another part of the reason is that I just don’t like it. Another reason, I’m finding more live people more fascinating again. Reading through an online dating resume isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

  • Matches don’t use their real picture sometimes, or they won’t even include one. (I am fine with this, because the point of this moment of online dating is to get over looks and look at actual personality.)
  • Some profiles are really brief, some are fairly long (like mine), and some are completely vacant or give a bunch of B.S. that doesn’t amount to anything.
  • Selfies. Everywhere. One match’s photos are the same selfie pose and position, but different outfits. It’s fucking hysterical pitiful.

And the other night, Wednesday, I was supposed to meet one of the matches out for beer at Empire. She had plans that night, and would let me know what she was thinking between 8:30 PM to 9 PM.

Who knows that I was thinking at that time, around 9, but my phone was nowhere near my person. My mind got preoccupied by internet articles and movie trailers. (You’re can’t watch just one.)  And the next thing that is known is the time being 9:40. I jumped up and ran to fetch my phone to find a recent text two minutes old, texts from a half hour prior, and a missed call.


So, yes, I stood her up. She was at the bar, sitting, enjoying a beverage without me.

It was not on purpose. It was stupid on my part, but it was not on purpose. This was the result of an idiotic person being more dumber than usual. Acting like a goof is one thing when you consider nerves, but this … Boy, there are no words.

After yelling into my pillow with hope to get the fluster and parasitic stupidity out, the texts that followed were apologetic. There was no inclination that she couldn’t make it. However, I managed to put my phone on the back on of my mind. To make matters worse, 98 percent of the time — the exception is the use of an alarm while sleeping — the phone is on silent.

Well, I’d rather be a jackass than a complete jerk. The scales have officially tipped in that direction, and I’ll keep owning up to and laughing at my jackassness if it prevents the scales from tipping to the “Jerk” side. Alas, more definition to show perfection is hard to find and impossible to balance.


Last night, Thursday, I actually did meet up with her at the restaurant for dinner and we grabbed dinner. The rest of our night took us to Al’s, where we enjoyed a gin drinks and a mediocre psychedelic band, and then we hit Blue Tusk. It was a great evening.

And hitting up these three places can either say this was a relay or a marathon. (I’m curious what the average first date length is.) The six-and-a-half-hour-long date was fun, and we had a lot to talk about. We’re both in the same position in life and trying to find a job in the Syracuse market. We both aim to get out of the area and head to a new, larger community. Knowing this takes a lot of pressure off. We shared an acknowledged awkward hug, and we called it a night.

8 thoughts on “My Brilliant Mistake

  1. The fact that she met you and stuck with you for 6 1/2 hours the night AFTER you stood her up means a hell of a lot, Mr. Malone. Now you must figure out exactly, what, no? Please do not be a scatterbrain when you’ve made a promised to accept a signal where to meet somebody, OK? Twice would be bordering or jackassery. 🙂

  2. Oh my god! AH! I can’t believe I’ve missed your online dating experiences. This is my JAMMMM, Chris. It sounds to me like you had a fabulous date though. The Drummer and my first date lasted 7 hours. At the same restaurant. LOL. I actually was nervous that the waitress was going to kill us but I don’t think she minded. We’re actually going back to that same restaurant on Saturday for our anniversary like a bunch of saps.

    So, like, are there 2nd date prospects??

    1. Jam away, jam out. Whatever the kids are calling it nowadays.

      The date did go well, and we had a lot to talk about at least. I definitely felt tired toward the end. Seven is pretty damn good. A couple I know had a first date that lasted the same length as well. That’s amazing, and it’s good karma for you and The Drummer; and you should go back to the restaurant and be sappier than ever.

      Yeah, a second date is going to happen Tuesday or Wednesday.

  3. Don’t feel bad, man. Girls that say they’ll “let you know what they’re thinking” aren’t worth your time anyway. You’re just lucky you weren’t the asshole sitting at the bar getting stood up.

    1. Women, right? She did let me know what she was thinking, and that came down to her feeling baffled. We joked about it a few times on the date, which was fine.

      I don’t think I would have had a problem being stood up. I would have sucked it up and dealt with it, but definitely would have been reluctant to ask the deserter out again. Second chances should be given after a first “accident.”

      1. Did you add that bit in at the end about the date after I had left my comment? If not, I guess I had a brain fart and didn’t finish reading, haha.

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