Second Opinions

Last night, I ended up meeting up with a friend for a low-key evening. After a week of hustling around, sitting around for a low key evening was pretty necessary to experience. The following morning, today, was to be filled with improv from 10 AM to 3 PM, and the latter three hours were dedicated to a musical workshop through our Syracuse Improv Collective. She would later poke at me about not participating in the workshop, because I’m not one for singing.

However, she did call me out on bailing, because we definitely sang a few times in past improv classes. This workshop of musical improv is also not karaoke, which you all should know my fear of that by now; amateurish singing always does that to me. However, attending the class and watching for a little bit, this calmed my fear toward that type outing. I’m willing to give karaoke-related or infused events an acceptable “college try.” However, considering I belt out tunes when no one is watching kind of makes me a singing hypocrite.

I should have given the workshop a try.

But I digress. My travels took me to Skaneateles, which was decorated to nth degree for the December holiday season, not the November, like everywhere else. Alexis and my relationship truly defines the men-and-women-can-be-just-friends debate in positive favor. We have a great understanding of the friendship, and we have a blast. And it’s important for both of our future partners to realize and understand that this is a person that we are going to be friends with for a long time and no matter where we end up.

We’re both in our 30’s. We’re both creative minds. We’re both intelligent people, well-traveled and cultured. And we have learned a lot from each other; I definitely can say that I have learned a lot from her. And we love to vent to each other about the American Central New York Follies of Dating. We give each other insight into what each of our genders are saying, thinking, doing.

What she isn’t accustomed to is the concept of OkCupid, and the world of online dating, which I don’t quite fully understand, but I enlightened her and allowed her to peruse around on the app later in the night.

First, we dealt with the frustration of the hoity-toity blonde woman, who got snippy with us. She was sitting at an adjacent table we were eyeballing, but she kept her clutch and scarf on one of the stools of the other high top. We took the high top, considering it was the only table left in The Blue Goose. As we took our seats, Alexis had to take the seat with the woman’s stuff, because we wanted to face out toward the window and not the corner of two walls.

Photo by A. P.

This only makes sense, looking for a view and not a blank wall, right? Well, the woman gave us — well, mostly Alexis — the stink eye the rest of the evening. Sorry for disturbing your clutch’s evening, ma’am, but inanimate objects don’t get a seat of their own around here.

The OkCupid came up, and I essentially showed her what it was all about. We went through matches, and we checked out profiles. I took her through the “Quickmatch” option, where people can do a quick browse and scope out the pictures and brief summary of potentials in the area. The first picture that popped up caught my eye, and she quickly agreed; after checking out the summary she wrote, her picture was swiped to the “Like.” Unfortunately, it could not be found today; so much for messaging her.

And she took a browse through the questions section, learning more about me than she ever imagined. She got few good laughs in and several eye opening aspects about her friend. (Some things she did not expect.)

But Alexis and I spoke of true connections: the moments of looking someone in the eyes, the sensation of touching someone (not in an overly sexual way, but the actual hand grazing a face before a kiss and shoulder touching and hugging), the gratification or disgust of kissing another person. All of these adds up to a physical and emotional attraction that cannot be dismissed. We spoke of astrological signs — we believe in this — and our matches and mismatches. And we talked about how our daily habits and interests should play a role in sifting out the better matches from the less qualified.

We all have our roles, and this includes the masculine and feminine. Men and women employ each other’s qualities, and some embody the qualities more than others. It reflects who we are, who we are looking for, and what level of a playing field that we look for and expect and should pair up with. It’s quite more in depth than what this scribbling is about, but this is only to show the top of the mound of this monstrosity of love, something we can’t fully understand. At least we have each other’s backs … as friends.

We also couldn’t understand why our selfies last night were not coming out as good as they normally do.

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