I’m not progressing as quickly as I should be with the most recent novel that my face has been hiding behind, that my nose has been digging into.
(Is that the saying?)
Well, whatever. Before I get into the meat and potatoes, let’s get something straight: So I’m essentially writing around Valentine’s Day when I know that I shouldn’t and failing to live up to my original intention not to. Is writing about relationships around the “holiday” a faux pas? A cliche? Too many questions are being asked.
Is it even worse that these words are spelling out during a French jazz tune? Yeah, let’s keep stacking this.
A passage caught my eye while reading A Working Theory of Love by Scott Hutchins. I read it days ago. It’s the passage that is below, poorly fashioned to give credit to the narrator and author. It’ll do.
This is an enlightening passage. The book itself is pretty damn amazing. I’ll definitely keep it rather than randomly place it in a random spot for someone to find.
While hanging out with a couple of other fellows, friends, wandering and creative types, we had a thorough discussion about relationships. We were enjoying our dinner at The Old Toad, breaking bread and clinking our glasses after an enjoyable night of sketch comedy.
We’ve made our mistakes in the past. We own up to them, and sometimes — specifically me — honest, hard-hitting aspects are more difficult to swallow than others. I’m not going to specifically talk about theirs, but there are definite issues that seem to exist within ourselves. Now, let me be clear, that the three of us don’t walk around town blatantly displaying vulgar methods of misogyny, because that’s not the case. We don’t fall in the line where with the guys whose misogyny is generated from jealousy of women — that can be the case, especially with the A-Type guys who walk around with blinders on.
And I’m certain that women can be misogynists, too. I’m not entirely hating on my gender.
But, we three guys, we’re not bitter about our past relationships, but we do have our concern about the entirety of each. And this concern can be plaguing to the point where we can let it get the best of us.
It took a lot for me to get over a handful of relationships. The recoveries were not stemmed from disliking the person — there is a difference between disliking the actions that cause a relationship to end — but the time was spent wondering what went wrong and how I could essentially change myself or open my eyes a little wider. We cannot change others, nor should we try to.
One of the concerns that I brought up is a familiar one. It was about a post I wrote about for Syracuse New Times. The issue: writing about a conversation that took place. Because she read it, she got pissed. I can’t blame her for that. However, her level of being irate cannot be forgiven. Although, she said that she is embarrassed, but there was no mention of her name or what she looked like. The only people that will know that it’s her will be the people she tells.
One of my friends said that he remembered that article, and recalled there was no specificity to calm my thoughts.
So my issue is being a lifestyle writer. It’s going to be a challenge for me to convey myself well so it doesn’t come across misogynistic. As many times as I bash myself or other guys, pointing out something in an objective fashion and blatant could ruin a relationship. As previously stated in a past article: I’ll be continuing to write even when kids are born. Because that’s life. I’m not going to include pictures or specific names to protect their privacy, but it is what it is.
Shit. I’m sure there are women out there, who would want to be included in articles. Sure, they could even have the opposite reaction of getting annoyed with my not including her name.
With writing …
On the way home, we were listening to Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast that featured Bret Easton Ellis. It was really interesting, very intense. Both Maron and Ellis were intense. After recently finishing Less Than Zero, the characters and story definitely parallel Ellis and his life. The same thing goes for American Psycho and The Rules of Attraction.
Here’s a guy, who writes fiction that includes facts and an array of characters to parallel those people in his life. And Ellis is not only more skilled than I am, but he’s also more blatantly honest.
Ellis said that a writer can’t make excuses for writing whether it pertains to developing characters or the craft, writing every day.
With future consideration …
Not everyone gets married and/or has kids. I’m fine with that (should that be my fate). I’m rooting for success. However, I’ve been thinking a lot about it recently. Maybe it pertains to my brother’s wedding this year? Could be and partially so.
The two kids today, the older sister making her baby brother laugh hysterically in Cafe at 407, helped with the positive thinking.
The three of us guys talked more about dating than our exes. We talked about the process and the routes, including trying and attempting and falling face-first into online dating. But it’s funny, when we are occupied with the online dating scheme, who we notice around us. And it’s funny how thought-to-be annoying characteristics could definite a person for the better.
There was a cute redhead that I sat next to on the show. She wasn’t the prettiest girl on the block, but she was definitively cute and attractive. Her laugh, however, was most appealing. She snorted quite often, and she didn’t hold back either. The first snort came from out of the blue, and she cupped her hand over her mouth and nose as she bent over with playful embarrassment — embarrassment that isn’t embarrassment but an exaggerated motion.
But she’s a redhead. Although, I’m most attractive to that trait, I’ve never really gotten (along with) them.
I play with words and invisible objects.
A mind, a pen and a piece paper have the best relationship ever.
"Remember this--if you shut your mouth, you have your choice."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald